(don’t) leave me alone

[heymacareyna]

 when we first met, I thought you were

annoying.

beneath me.

I thought a lot of myself then,

or at least I pretended to.

(get out of here)

when you followed me around, I got

snooty.

I asked you for a “-sama”

because that was expected of

the persona I’d crafted.

you were supposed to 

fall in line,

believe the acting.

why didn’t you?

(go away)

I’m better than you.

superior.

aren’t I?

(wait)

you love without conditions and I am

lost.

I’ve never known this before,

never had anyone genuinely

want me

just for being me.

you watch me and you

smile and I

want to smile back,

though I don’t know how.

(don’t go)

I’ve never felt this either—

the fondness,

the affection

(not possessiveness 

but something deeper).

I want to know you,

every inch of you,

despite old habits screaming to keep you at arm’s length

because it’s safer that way.

but maybe I want more than safety now.

(it’s a lonely thing, safety.)

maybe I want

bright blue eyes

and an open smile

and a soft heart

and the warmth of your hand in mine.

maybe I want you after all.

(stay)